WHO AM I?
No one yet has given the Christians a guessing game on "famous
personalities" in the world from a Biblical point of view. We thought
you might enjoy a "$64,000 Ouestion," or "What's My Line?" or "The
Price Is Right," or something else from that angle. No such
questionnaire has ever appeared so it probably should appear somewhere
now.
1. Who am I? I was born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed as a Roman
Catholic. I became the most famous man in the twentieth century. I
made a concordat with the pope in 1933 and called my new order
"Positive Christianity." (Got it yet?) I did not agree with the pope
on training young people but I never was excommunicated. I committed
suicide after murdering six million Jews. Who am I?
2. Who am I? I was born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed as a Roman
Catholic in the northeastern part of the United States. My people
were Italians and I always liked the Mafia. My income was sometimes
$4,000,000 a year, although my Catholic mother made only about $25 for
each abortion she performed in the basement of our home. Who am I? I
replaced a man called "the old Groaner" and they called me "The
Voice." I fornicated regularly most of my life and bragged that all my
life had been lived "My Way." Who am I? I sang for Tommy Dorsey
before I hit the top and I drank heavily after I was forty years old,
although I had always drunk liquor since I was a teenager. Who am I?
3. Who am I? I wrote five hundred pages attacking the Jews and
recommended that they commit suicide when Hitler came to power. I was
a vegetarian and thought Buddha was greater than Jesus Christ because
Buddha loved animals. I urinated in public most of my life and cut
off relations with my wife in order to demonstrate "civil
disobedience." Who am I? I went on hunger strikes and got riots going
that eventually killed 10,000 people. Norman Vincent Peale and Earl
Stanley Jones called me "the greatest Christian that ever lived" and
Einstein said that someday men would marvel that such a man as I ever
lived here in flesh and blood. I was assassinated. Who am I? The
thing that kept me from being a "Christian" was how Christians treated
blacks in South Africa. I let people call me "father" because I had
power to atone for their sins. Who am I? Michael Luther King Jr.
set me up as a pattern for "civil disobedience" in America so over
five hundred people were killed and $200,000,000 worth of vandalism,
burning and looting took place. Who am I?
4. Who am I? I was a Hollywood actor who always played tough macho
parts. When I died Charismatics came to my ward and prayed for my
healing and claimed Jesus Christ was going to do it. I died of AIDS
shortly thereafter. A fairy who shacked up with me (i.e., we
fornicated more regularly together than in the "spas" with the
"crowd") got more than $2,000,000 out of my estate because I hurt his
feelings. Doris Day said she would be so happy to meet me again after
death in heaven. Who am I? I was a heavy boozer the last twenty
years of my life and my death was hailed as the death of a martyr by
National Public Radio and People magazine. My death opened up the
eyes of the nation to the fact that the American people were morally
obligated to help sex perverts continue with their "lifestyles." Who
am I?
5. Who am I? I portrayed Jesus Christ as a "garlic eating, greasy,
stinking, little Fascist bastard" and believed that my rock group was
more popular than He was. I was an Englishman and lived off a variety
of drugs all my adult life. Who am I? I married a Japanese girl and
got my brains blown out after writing a song called "HAPPINESS IS A
WARM GUN." The man that shot me was raised on the rock music I and the
Beatles played. Who am I?
6. Who am I? I was a German who wound up somewhere in South America,
but no one knew for sure until they dug up my dead body and looked at
my skull and teeth. They then said that I had been a famous medical
doctor in a concentration camp. Who am I? I was born, raised,
sprinkled, and confirmed as a Roman Catholic and served the head of
the Gestapo, who was also born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed as a
Roman Catholic. I worked at Auschwitz and the Catholics got me safely
out of Germany at the close of World War II through Der Spinne. Who
am I? Nuns and priests took care of me in convents and monastaries so
I would not have to appear in Nueremberg. I was working at Auschwitz
for Rudolph Hoess, who was also born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed
as a Roman Catholic. Who am I?
7. Who am I? I was a German Jew who set up the governments for China
and Russia. I taught the theory of evolution was a scientific fact,
and that "Capitalism" was the source of the world's evils. Michael
Luther King Jr. said my economic system--no ownership or private
property, soak the rich to pay the poor, welfare state from the cradle
to the grave--was his economic system. Who am I? I taught the Bible
was a lie from cover to cover and that the millennium would come only
when there was an "equal distribution of wealth." I never worked a day
in my life so two of my children starved to death due to malnutrition.
I studied theology in school and professed Christianity when I was
young. Who am I? Fidel Castro, Mrs. Aquino, Chairman Mao, Lenin,
Stalin, and Khruschev were my devotees, along with the Catholic IRA in
Ireland, and Pope Paul VI. Who am I?
8. Who am I? I was born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed as a Roman
Catholic, so naturally I am anxious to die in "a state of grace" with
no "mortal sins" to atone for. This is why I devoted my life to good
works. I work with lepers. I gained the reputation of being the most
godly woman who ever lived. I do not know the New Testament plan of
salvation but I know about the sacraments. I have never led a soul to
Christ in my life but I believe in the fundamentals as given by Bob
Jones University. Who am I? I teach that Hitler, Mao Tse-tung,
Lenin, Stalin, Al Capone, Jim Jones, Charles Manson, Bishop Tutu, Idi
Amin, Heinrich Himmler, and Bugs Moran were all children of God. The
Devil is not anyone's "father" no matter what Jesus Christ said (John
8). Someday my church will make a saint out of me to get some more
good "press." Who am I?
9. Who are we? We got everything we know from German rationalists
and German higher critics. We were Englishmen who wantad to take the
Anglican church back to Rome for the pope to run. We professed to be
Greek scholars and got the RV committee of 1881 to accept a Roman
Catholic text from the Jesuits at Douay-Rheims for a New Testament.
Who are we? We fooled Philip Schaff, Charles Spurgeon, A.T.
Robertson, R.A. Torrey, John Broadus, Bob Jones Jr., Custer, Neal,
Afman, Martin, Price, Machen, Davis, Warfield, Bob Jones III, and over
five hundred teachers in Bible schools in America. Who are we? We
doted on an Alexandrian manuscript that had been concealed in the
Vatican for nearly four hundred years, and used it to correct the
Authorized Version in four thousand places. We established the Greek
text for the New International Version, the New American Standard
Version, and all Roman Catholic Bibles in the twentieth century (NKJV,
NAB, etc.). Who are we?
10. Who am I? I was born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed as a
Roman Catholic. My father got the USA into World War II through his
close associations with Winston Churchill. He also set up the liquor
traffic between Great Britain and America. One of my brothers was
assassinated and another one narrowly missed being tried for murder.
Who am I? When I became president, Life and Newsweek called my wife a
"queen" so I set up an absolute dictatorship for a king with Security
Rules so I could take over the railways, airports, radio stations, TV
stations, highways, storehouses, and homes of America and even ship
families to different parts of the country. Who am I? I was
assassinated after killing over five hundred Cubans in a fake attempt
to land on Cuba. I did not give them the air support or ship support
I promised them so they wound up dead or in prison. I have a candle
burning at my grave because the press made a god out of me before and
after my death. Who am I?
11. Who am I? I became a Liberal Modernist at Crozier Theoiogical
Seminary and, not believing in heaven or hell, or the second coming of
Jesus Christ, I decided to make the world "a better place to live in."
Being a radical racist I decided to make it better for one race only.
I changed my name so people would think I was a Christian reformer.
(Tne press went along with me and didn't tell anyone.) Who am I? When
I set up strikes in Montgomery the people hollered "Here comes the
KING OF KINGS." (The press went along with me and covered up.) I rode
in Kennedy's private airplane and picked up several hundred thousand
dollars a year preaching racism. Who am I? I fornicated regularly
while condoning riots in Detroit and Washington, and stated that I was
a Marxist in economics and approved of violence if just demonstrating
didn't get blackmail money for one race to the exclusion of the
others. After I was investigated, the press attacked the FBI and then
approved of hiding the records of my personal life so no one would
know what kind of a man I was APART FROM THE NEWS MEDIA. I became the
first American national hero whose life was so rotten and corrupt it
couldn't bear being publicized. Who am I? My birthday is known as
"National Do Nothing Day." It is used by all Communists and Socialists
as an alibi to ask the government for more blackmail money. Who am I?
12. Who am I? I am the most widely traveled political speaker in the
world today. I teach that Christians and Moslems and Jews worship the
same God and I am the visible representative of that God on this
earth. I reserve the title of that God to myself--"Holy Father" and
"Most Holy Father." I teach that no one can get forgiveness of sins
from God only and that Fatima's peace plan for Russia has finally
worked out according to a UFO two Portuguese children saw before World
War II. Who am I? I was an actor before taking the place of a
dictator who was killed almost as soon as he was elected. I teach
that the one true church that Jesus Christ founded was not Jewish--
even though all twelve apostles were Jewish when He founded it--but
that it is ROMAN, and that anyplace where the New Testament runs afoul
of that Roman church it is to be corrected by the traditions of the
"church fathers" (Clement, Cyprian, Eusebius, Marytr, Augustine,
Ignatius, Polycarp, et al.). Who am I?
I could stop the killing in Ireland tonight, but I will keep my mouth
shut.
I do not recognize Israel as a state and never will because I believe
my throne should be in Jerusalem instead of Rome.
I should have excommunicated Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, Al Capone,
Lucky Luciano, Bloody Mary, Charlemagne (four wives plus concubines),
and Napoleon, but I thought it better to slide it under the rug.
I gave full cooperation to NAZI Germany during the Holocaust and then
pretended (after the Allies won) that I had been "against" Hitler the
whole time.
I will sign a concordat with ANYONE who believes ANYTHING, as long as
my political hierarchy has the right to operate freely within that
country. Who am I?
THE KING JAMES TRANSLATORS CALLED ME "THE MAN OF SIN."
