My Diary

October 2: Today my life began. My parents do not know it yet. I am as

small as the pollen of a flower, but it is I already. I will be a girl. I

will have blonde hair and blue eyes. Nearly everything is settled already,

even that I shall love birds.

October 19: I have grown a little, but I am still too small to do

anything by myself. My mother does everything for me, although she still does

not know that she is carrying me under her heart. But I am a real person just

as a crumb of bread is still real bread. My mother exists, and I do too.

October 23: My mouth is just now beginning to open. Just think, in a

year or so I'll be laughing, and later I'll start to talk. My first word will

be "mama."

October 25: Today my heart began to beat. It will beat softly for the

rest of my life, never stopping. After many years it will tire and stop. Then

I shall die.

November 2: I am growing continually. My arms and legs are taking shape,

but I must wait a long time before these tiny legs will raise me to my

mother's arms; before these little arms will be able to conquer the earth and

befriend people.

November 12: Tiny fingers are beginning to form on my hands. How small

they are. One day I'll stroke my mother's hair and tell her how nice she is.

November 20: Only today the doctor told my mother that I'm living here

under her heart. How happy she must be! Are you happy, mother?

November 25: My mother and father are probably thinking about a name for

me. And they don't even know that I am a little girl, so they are probably

calling me "Andy." But I want to be called Barbara. I am growing so big.

December 10: My hair is growing. It is as bright and shiny as the sun.

I wonder what kind of hair my mother has.

December 13: My eyes are almost fully developed, although the lids are

still shut. When mother brings me into the world it will be full of sunshine

and overflowing with flowers. I have never seen a flower, you know, but more

than anything I want to see my mother. How do you look, mother?

December 24: My fingers and toes are fully formed. Even my nails are

beginning to develop.

December 26: I wonder if my mother hears the delicate beat of my heart?

Some children are born with sickly hearts, and then the gentle fingers of the

doctor perform miracles to make them healthy. But my heart is healthy. It

beats so evenly: tup-tup, tup-tup. You shall have a healthy daughter, mother.

December 28: Today my mother killed me.

 

 

 

God says, Lo children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the

womb is his reward. (Psalm 127:3)

The Psalmist wrote, I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and

wonderfully made. Marvelous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth right

well. My substance was not hid from thee when I was made in secret and

curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my

substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written,

which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

(Psalm 139: 14-16)

Isaiah said, That Lord hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of

my mother hath he made mention of my name . . . And, now, saith the Lord that

formed me from the womb to be his servant . . . (Isaiah 49: 1,5)

God said about Jeremiah, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee;

and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee. (Jeremiah 1:5)

God says, Be sure your sin will find you out. (Numbers 32:23)

 

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