HUNG UP?
Are you hung up? Do you feel strung out behind a maze of establishment
insecurity? Do you find it difficult to define a purpose within a society
whose goals seem no more solid than a plastic baggie? Have you, out of
searching desperation, turned to a chemical or meditative cloud #9, only to
find that you still don't know where it's at? If you can slip into the
proverbial shoe here, then let me take just a few moments of your time to tell
you how I left that scene to go down a much better road.
My whole life from about the age of 10 was spent continually looking for that
"little something" that was missing in my parent's reality. I never knew what
it was, but something about my new stepfather's success (his status,
education, house, etc.) just didn't make it. Somehow, as he hurried down that
long road to "success", he had forgotten to pick up love and feeling and other
"little" things like that.
As a child I didn't know too much, but I did know that if I couldn't find what
I was looking for at home, then I'd have to go elsewhere. So I went. Now,
where I went, and how I went differed greatly from one time to another, but
the road was always the same. Sometimes, I felt that happiness was maybe just
over the hill, and so I'd physically move from one place to another. At other
times, I felt that it surely must all be in the mind, and I would search
myself for some hidden knowledge that I possessed but wasn't conscious of. My
search took me into many areas, both physically and mentally, and although I
felt so close to it at times, I never quite came onto what I wanted.
As a result of this feeling, I was driven into the spectrum of the drug scene.
The first time I tried grass (marijuana), I didn't do it to satisfy my longing
to fill the void I felt, I did it just "for kicks." I didn't really expect it
to be the answer I needed, but in the back of my mind, I wondered if it wasn't
within this bag that I might, come upon it. Still, I wasn't really
disappointed when all I found was a good feeling with no permanency. Yet, I
couldn't help thinking of the word "plastic" or something that doesn't last. I
wanted more than a temporary euphoria that had to be artificially induced!
Convinced by this time that what I wanted was on a mental, rather than a
physical level, I experimented with other drugs. I went from grass to hash, to
opium, to speed; "uppers and downers", anything and everything to get some
kind of a "high", and then I heard about it. Acid!!! LSD, mind-expanding,
astro- projection. Wow! Here I felt had to be my answer. To expand the mind, to
reach out into unexplored truths, this would be it. And so, I tripped out. Not
once, but several times. I tried different kinds of hallucinogenics,
mescaline, peyote, DMT.
I have never beard anyone accurately describe a trip, but what I found was
wild, sometimes scary, and bizarre at other times. I often felt the same
euphoria as with grass, but somehow heavier. I felt up and down, peaceful and
unrestful. What I didn't feel was satisfaction. What I had done was to go from
one "plastic bag" to another. If acid was to be my happiness, then the first
thing I didn't dig was that it wasn't free. I had to buy it, I had to function
within the society at least long enough to make some money. MAKE SOME MONEY???
But this was what I was running from in the first place!
Oh Wow! Man, I'd gone nowhere!
As a last resort, I turned to the one thing that I had always been scared to
try. All my life, I'd heard people talk about God and Jesus Christ. But the
thing that held me back was that I didn't want to cling to a false security. I
didn't want to lean on a personal or social crutch. And yet, some people said
that God was real, not just an illusion. If this was true, then I had
everything to gain, if not, then I was just in the same boat.
I had nothing to lose. Man, why not try it? Out of desperation I cried out,
"God, if you're real, show me. And then, Lord, if you show me I'm no fool,
I'll give my life to you. If you want me, I'm yours. People tell me that God
will forgive me; that I don't have to pay for God's love, that I just have to
accept it. Okay, I like that, but Lord, I don't want just a false security. So
God, if you're real, I want to absolutely know."
The only way I can explain the magnitude of the next few moments is in terms
of the feeling that swept over me. I felt an immediate rush of peace and
tranquility, coupled with an awareness of a love so total and complete that l
burst into tears at the realization of its beauty. Almost immediately that
verse in the Bible I had heard so often flashed before me, "For God so loved
the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him
should not perish, but have everlasting life." At that moment I knew that my
search was over. I had found that love that was missing in my parents realty.
The happiness I had looked for "over the hill" was suddenly within my heart. I
also knew that this beautiful feeling was not a "plastic bag" that would tear
apart and disappear, it was here to stay! And perhaps most beautiful of all,
that this feeling was mine, because of the reality of a living God and His
love for me. A love that was mine for free through Jesus Christ!
The Bible says this about love "Beloved, let us love one another: for love is
of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that
loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love
of God toward us because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world,
that we might live through him." (I John 4:7-9).
Oh, brother and sister, can you dig it? Have you too spent your life searching
for a happiness that always seems to be "over the next hill?" Are you tired of
running through an emotional maze, constantly going from one temporary bag
into another ? Would you also like to have this eternal love and peace that
comes with the knowledge that you have been forgiven for the wrongs you've
done, and now possess the key to eternal life ? There is only one way to find
it. You won't find it by searching from one hill to another. It won't come to
you through acid or meditation. It isn't yours by professing brotherly love
alone, or by just wanting to "do your own thing." You won't get it by
philosophizing your way around it, or by pretending that God doesn't exist. It
is yours if you are willing only to admit the reality of God and His Son Jesus
Christ, and by admitting this, will confess your sins to your Creator and
Saviour, and then turn (repent) from them.
How little to do to receive so much. And yet, isn't that what love is all
about? God loves you. He just wants to have you, by your choice, accept the
reality of His love. Isn't it time you found that "better way to go?" Dig it
man, this is the only road.
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