HERE BEGINNETH THE FOURTEENTH CHAPTER
That without imperfect meekness coming before, it is
impossible for a sinner to come to the perfect Virtue of meekness in this
life.
FOR although I call it imperfect meekness, yet I had liefer have a true knowing
and a feeling of myself as I am, and sooner I trow that it should get me the
perfect cause and virtue of meekness by itself, than it should an all the
saints and angels in heaven, and all the men and women of Holy Church living in
earth, religious or seculars in all degrees, were set at once all together to
do nought else but to pray to God for me to get me perfect meekness. Yea, and
yet it is impossible a sinner to get, or to keep when it is gotten,
the perfect virtue of meekness without it.
And therefore swink and sweat in all that
thou canst and mayest, for to get thee a true knowing and a feeling of thyself
as thou art; and then I trow that soon after that thou shalt have a true
knowing and a feeling of God as He is. Not as He is in Himself, for that may no
man do but Himself; nor yet as thou shalt do in bliss both body and soul
together. But as it is possible, and as He vouchsafeth to be known and felt of
a meek soul living in this deadly body.
And think not because I set two causes of
meekness, one perfect and another imperfect, that I will therefore that thou
leavest the travail about imperfect meekness, and set thee wholly to get thee
perfect. Nay, surely; I trow thou shouldest never bring it so about. But
herefore I do that I do: because I think to tell thee and let thee see the
worthiness of this ghostly exercise before all other exercise bodily
or ghostly that man can or may do by grace. How that a privy love pressed in
cleanness of spirit upon this dark cloud of unknowing betwixt thee and thy God,
truly and perfectly containeth in it the perfect virtue of meekness without any
special or clear beholding of any thing under God. And because I would that
thou knewest which were perfect meekness, and settest it as a token before the
love of thine heart, and didst it for thee and for me. And because I would by
this knowing make thee more meek.
For ofttimes it befalleth that lacking of knowing
is cause of much pride as me thinketh. For peradventure an thou knewest not
which were perfect meekness, thou shouldest ween when thou hadst a little
knowing and a feeling of this that I call imperfect meekness, that thou hadst
almost gotten perfect meekness: and so shouldest thou deceive thyself, and ween
that thou wert full meek when thou wert all belapped in foul stinking pride. And therefore try for to travail about perfect meekness; for the
condition of it is such, that whoso hath it, and the whiles he hath it, he
shall not sin, nor yet much after.